Soul Searching
>> Friday, March 26, 2010
I barely slept at all last night, which doesn't bode well for my long drive(s) today. I'll survive, though. Surprisingly, it wasn't depression that kept me up. After the plummet of the last week or so, I feel like I might be on the verge of another upswing. Hopefully, I'll get back to feeling this good. Why the upswing? I'm not sure exactly... but I stumbled on this poem last night...
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
...and my reaction to it almost startled me. I found it to be more reassuring than depressing. Usually, poems like this are really depressing and just a little reassuring, but those feelings were transposed this time for some reason.
The name Jeremy Camp popped into my head late last night too, and I started listening to some of his music. I might not ever listen to it again just because it really isn't my style, but the guy's story is inspiring (especially to me). You can check it out here. What really struck me was how he seemed to use his pain to drive him. I haven't really done that... and I wonder how my life would be different if I let my emotions push me in positive directions instead of just letting them shut me down. I'd like to know what it feels like to be a "renewed man" as Jeremy Camp's website describes him. I'm going to be giving this some serious thought.
I'm not sure exactly what any of this will come to mean in the grand scheme of things... but I'll have plenty of time on the road today for soul searching.
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5 comments (Click Here to Post One of Your Own!):
OK Josh here is is a year after this post and I am reading it for the first time (sorry about that) And it was if you put the poem just for me. I needed to read that right now. Thank you so much and thanks for loving my sister and for still being a part of this crazy Wallace clan. I was really scared that we were gonna lose you too. Hunter & Ali & Maddie all love you so much. Uncle Josh is the coolest!!! lol
Thanks again,
I love ya,
Amy
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